Cuts Like A Knife

I suppose we can take a break from all the Britney Spearsness that's been going on around here lately. Even tho Britney Watch 2007 is still in full effect, I believe she decided to stay home last night or something. And hey, can I help it if I have a Britney Spears addiction? Maybe Promises Rehab in Malibu, CA has a program for something like that? Eh, not that'd I'd wanna go anyways ...

But, even tho we're Britneyless today that doesn't mean that we are Spearsless ... today is Jamie Lynn Spears' 16th birthday ... so I'm sending all my Birthday Lurve to her today:

Jamie Lynn, ah sweet & innocent Jamie Lynn. She looked absolutely amazing at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards last Saturday. She is such a reminder of how Britney Spears started out back at the beginning of her career. Sigh. Well, Happy Birthday, JL ... I hope all your birthday wishes come true ... and that one of those wishes is not to end up up as a divorcee with 2 kids and a few stints of rehab under your belt all before she turns 25.

Halle Berry was the overly ecstatic recipient of the 2, 333rd star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday ... here are a few pictures of the uber-excited Halle getting all kinds of personal with her new piece of Hollywood Blvd:


Photo credit: Splash News
Halle Berry has an Emmy, a Golden Globe and an Oscar. Now she has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A teary-eyed Berry received the 2,333rd Walk of Fame star in a ceremony Tuesday in front of the Kodak Theatre. "I am so emotional ... as soon as I saw the crowds of people and friends here, I started to cry," she said. Berry, a Cleveland native, won the best actress Academy Award in 2001 for her role alongside Billy Bob Thornton in Monster's Ball. She won an Emmy and a Golden Globe for her title role in Introducing Dorothy Dandridge. "This beautiful woman is a triple threat — an old-fashioned bombshell and, like my mom would say, a good egg," said Tom Rothman, chairman and CEO of Fox Filmed Entertainment. If these pictures are any indication, I can only imagine what Halle did after she won her other awards -- in the privacy of her own home. She was really lovin' up on that slab of ground, wasn't she? [Source]

Victoria Beckham enjoyed Day 3 of her skiing holiday in France yesterday ... but while she was tearing up the slopes the day previous wearing only a tank top underneath her open parka, yesterday was a different matter altogether -- she looked bundled up against the bitter cold:


Photo credit: Splash News
It's a good thing she kept herself covered up ... especially the lower portion of her face. From what I understand, it's very difficult to thaw out collagen ... and with as much collagen that Posh as got packed into her lips, well, let's just say it wouldn't be a pretty sight. [Source]

Here is a picture of Lindsay Lohan as she made her way into The Abbey on Monday night to support Hilary Duff at her CD release party:


Photo credit: Flynet
See? What did I tell you ... the hair, the dress, the boobs -- she looked amazing. And honestly, this picture doesn't even do her justice. She looked so hot. [Source]

Jesse Metcalfe has temporarily sprung himself from rehab this week as he took to the streets of Malibu, CA on a day break from his stint at the Promises Rehab facility:


Hopefully Jesse is having a successful go at battling his addiction demons ... it'd be a shame for him to get all this press coverage and not even kick his habit. [Source]

Aww ... Naomi Watts is finally starting to show signs that she's pregs:


So I guess we can be expecting a little Liev later on this year. Cute! [Source]

UGH ... the last time we paid any attention to British minor celeb Callum Best was when he was partying nightly with Miss Lindsay Lohan last year ... but this time, he's partying with someone else ... and it ain't pretty:


Photo credit: Splash News
No, Callum isn't hanging out with Suzanne Somers ... he's hanging out with Kimberly Stewart ... who is wearing a gross fur coat, I might add. I don't get it ... doesn't Callum read the US magazines enough to be warned off hanging out with Kim Stew? Doesn't he have eyes? [Source]

TMZ has scored the 911 emergency recording from Boulder, CO last week that led to the arrest of former child actor Brian Bonsall (Family Ties, Star Trek: The Next Generation) which they are providing for all the world to listen to:


On the tape, Bonsall's girlfriend claims that the former child star "poured whiskey on my face when I was asleep" and threw her on the ground "probably five or six times" when she tried to leave his house. She also claimed that they both had been drinking before she made the call. Police tell TMZ that before the incident, the two had an all-night party with several friends. Bonsall can be heard in the background several times during the call. According to police, Bonsall claimed that he pushed the woman down in self-defense, after she cut his arm and face with a steak knife. In the arrest report, police say "both people ... suffered minor injuries that did not require medical attention" ... Bonsall was charged with second-degree assault and false imprisonment. Well, he can be heard on the tape saying "She cut my face" and the kid does look pretty scraped up in his mug shot ... but that doesn't really prove anything. What a sad story ... it's so unfortunate that so many child actors grow up to be jail birds. [Source]

So ... have you heard the one where Keith Richards revealed that, in a stupor, he snorted bits of his father's ashes (mixed with a "bit of blow") and then, in a panic, his people almost immediately had to release a statement that he was "just kidding" and that it was an April Fool's Joke -- despite the fact that the story came out days after April 1st? It's a real hoot, I tells ya:


The Rolling Stones' guitar legend Keith Richards has revealed that he once snorted a line of his own dad's ashes. Speaking exclusively in this week's NME, the star, notorious for his decades of substance abuse, admitted he gave his old man a unique send off after his cremation. He said: "The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. "My dad wouldn't have cared, he didn't give a shit. It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive." Yeah, that sounds like Keith Richards ... but then his manager decided that she had to counteract his candor, saying his comments were: "Said in jest," she explained. "Can't believe anyone took [it] seriously." Um, right. His whole entire interview with NME is explained away with two short sentences. His manager can't believe anyone took it seriously? Is she serious? The man looks like he's snorted much worst than his father's ashes in his surprisingly long life. If Ozzy Osbourne can snort a trail of ants, why is this so hard to believe? [Source, Source]

Jake Gyllenhaal was spotted taking his dog Atticus out for a walk in NYC this week ...


... and even tho Jakey poo wasn't all smiles for the cameras ... I can't be mad at him. [Source]

Jake was also spotted out for a little bike ride recently ... as was Patrick Dempsey. Both men were decked out in their finest, body-hugging spandex attire ... which begs the question -- who owns this look?


Since each one of these guys is devilishly handsome, the tie-breaker must come down to their other ... assets ... which is where the aid of the spandex comes in handy. I think it's safe to guess who I'm picking as my package of choice ... but it is still a tough call. [Source, Source]

Guy Ritchie, taking inspiration from Britney Spears no doubt, decided to shave off all of his hair for a new bald look:


I much prefer him with his nice blonde hair ... this tough look does nothing for him. [Source]

Vandals in London have defaced one of Madonna's huge-ass H&M billboards by making it appear as if Madge were crying hyper-yellow tears:


As far as vandalism goes, this ain't so bad. The yellow adds a nice splash of color to the billboard. Or, maybe it's not vandalism at all ... maybe it's a miracle. Visages of the Madonna have been known to cry tears of varying consistencies all around the world as a miraculous sign or as a foreboding warning ... perhaps this miracle is a sign that the entire M by Madonna clothing line at H&M will be going on sale soon? [Source]

Tori Spelling and her newborn baby boy Liam grace the cover of the new issue of US Weekly:


It's hard to believe that little ditzy Donna Martin is a mother now. What Would Brenda Walsh Say? [Source]

La Diva Latina -- Ms. Jennifer Lopez herself -- is featured on the cover of UK Elle magazine:


It's a good thing that J. Lo finally got around to re-dying the roots in her hair part before all these new pictures were shot. I much prefer my Diva Latinas without all that grey hair. [Source]