It is a human right not to have to sit down like a girl

On my first day of kindergarten, I had to go potty outside the prescribed time. The teacher made sure I knew where it was, and then excused me. Of course, being a man, I a) didn't really know where it was, other than a general compass bearing, and b) am genetically programmed to be unable to admit this and ask directions.

Eventually I found the restroom, and was happily going about my business. Then these two girls started saying that I wasn't where I belonged, etc. etc. Damn second graders. I figured they were just being bossy, so I ignored them. Turns out I was in the girls' room. With all the raging hormones rushing through my 5 year old body, I must have missed the sign.

In truth, the idea of separate restrooms for kids was wholly novel for me. At my preschool, there was only one potty and everyone used it in turn. When I was with my father, I went to the men's locker room and restroom. When I was with my mother, I went to the women's room. No one seemed to notice or care that I was there, so it seemed perfectly logical that I could pick any restroom I wanted. Besides, I really had to go.

Another fact about kindergarten: urinals were also a novel concept. I had seen them, but never used one. Let me tell you, getting the urinal etiquette down is not trivial, especially with all your friends watching. I had to fake it the first few times, and act like I knew what I was doing. Which I didn't. Hitting the urinal was way easier than hitting the potty, and our teachers were all women, so no one was going to yell at you to wipe the seat. By the end of each day, our restroom was a miniature Superfund site.

Therefore, it strikes me as completely logical that young boys at school ought to be asked to sit down. It prevents the mess. But some people think that this is a crime against nature:

"The head of The Democrats Party...Vidar Kleppe, is outraged that boys at Dvergsnes School in Kristiansand have to sit and pee. Kleppe accuses the school of fiddling with God's work, and wants the matter discussed at the executive committee level of the local council, newspaper Dagbladet reports."

and here's the bestest quote:

"It is a human right not to have to sit down like a girl."

Ahh. Sexism. If ever you needed evidence that "human" and "woman" were mutually exclusive categories in the eyes of many, here it is. Apparently, God not only swirls the toilet*, he lives in your cock. If you don't have a cock, obviously you're a lesser creation.

I don't know if women's restrooms get the same level of support from Superfund as them men's, but reducing the mess is a great idea.

*Part of God's busy schedule is making sure your potty flushes**, by stirring it with His finger. God has to swirl the potty when you flush it, because highly ordered and complex structures, such as whirlpools, cannot arise spontaneously in nature. What is the probability that all the water molecules in your potty would suddenly and spontaneously decide to go in just the right direction? Since rare events can never happen unless an intelligent agent is there to make it so, the swirl in your potty is *proof* that Intelligent Deism Design is true.

**Either that, or we have to invoke some kind of Crapper's Demon, to sort the water molecules and make them all go the right way at the same time. Naturally, the Crapper's Demons living in Australia are all left handed.