Guys Online

I get a lot of Instant Messages online. A LOT. And a frightening amount of them begin with one or more of the following questions: 1. What are you wearing? 2. What is your bra size? 3. What do you look like?

Oh please.

I have a nice little online profile made up that tells my interests and hobbies and the like. Out of every 100 guys, maybe one looked me up by something relevant like a hobby we have in common. The rest looked me up by what matters most to them, location. They don't care what interests me or whether or not I'm married. They care that I am at least reasonably attractive and live within driving distance, hoping that I will fall for their "original" pick-up lines and meet them.

I've had guys try to talk me out of being happily married. Some even went as far to claim that if I would just meet them, they could change my mind. I had one guy begin his message with "I have an 8" dick." He couldn't figure out why I wasn't jumping up and down to meet him after that delightful greeting.

After telling another guy repeatedly that I was NOT interested in cyber sex, he said, "Oh, OK. Well, then just tell me what it would be like if we had sex." What?!?!? Last I checked, that WAS cyber sex.

I could go on but I'd rather hear your stories. Have you heard some pick-up lines that were too ridiculous to believe? Have you been asked anything off-the-wall? Have you agreed to meet a guy you found online and later find that he was NOT what you expected? If you've talked to a stupid or strange or just plain crazy man online, E-mail me.

NOTE TO MEN WHO READ THIS PAGE & FEEL COMPELLED TO IM ME: If you send me an instant message and I do not answer, please don't flatter yourself into thinking I'm "afraid" to talk to you because you are either "too intimidating" or "too nice." I leave AOL running all the time but I am usually only in front of the computer for any length of time from approximately 11:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. Eastern Time. So, if you have something to say, do it then.

Due to the overwhelming amount of bad online experiences you have sent in, this section has been expanded. Check out the new categories below. Every section has been updated.

KIM NOTE 13 May 2003: Here's the deal. I still have about 100 things to add to these pages (particularly the My IMs pages) but since it is taking FOREVER, I thought I'd go ahead and put what I had out there for you to read while I continue working on the pages. So there should be another update soon.....